This story originally appeared on the Gents Cafe Newsletter. You can subscribe here.
When my father palmed me a copy of On The Road he said, “I don’t know why, but I think you’re going to like this.”
Whether he thought it would change my life or not, I don’t know. But I like to think he knew what he was doing, because until that point I hadn’t thought much of reading or writing, and I’ve been writing ever since.
What seemed like a fairly trivial gesture ended up mattering more to me than I suspect he or I could have ever imagined. It inspired adventure, craft, discipline, and a failed attempt at being a nomad. While a parent may be more acutely aware of how they influence their children. The things they say. The ways they act. Outside of that, is it ever so clear?
As a barista, I probably had hundreds of opportunities every day to make a difference – from the coffee I made to how I spoke with each customer. How often I made a difference or not is another matter, but the opportunity was always there and if I could make one person’s day a little brighter than that was good enough. Not that I’d ever really know.
Now, as a copywriter, I know that every word has to matter because if they don’t then the message gets lost and there’s more amends, more time wasted, and more money down the drain. More stress. How much writing to sell things and facilitate certain industries matters, though, is up for debate.
But as for the friend that’s always late. The girl who passes you on the street and crushes your soul with her shoes. The girl who doesn’t. The cat that doesn’t give a damn about any of it. Do they appreciate how they impact us? And in that, do we?
Whether there’s intention or not, the things we do matter and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s easier to see that as a heavy burden. After all, aren’t we all flawed creatures destined to just f*ck up? Most certainly. It’s understandable to doubt our influence.
But even if it’s a small gesture like saying thanks or palming someone a copy of a book you think they’d like, we can influence things – make things a bit better for those around us for a moment, a day, or dare we say it, a lifetime – and not even need to know about it or why it even matters.
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