This story originally appeared on the Gents Cafe Newsletter. You can subscribe here.
For years, we’ve been captivated by a narrative that our style and presentation are solely about appearances. The phrase “Look good, feel good” has been our guiding light, urging us to dress up and present ourselves in a certain way. But what if we’ve been misled? What if the real secret to style lies not in what we wear, but in how we feel?
The idea that looking good leads to feeling good is not entirely false, but it’s only a small part of the equation. Dressing up can boost confidence, temporarily, but it often can mask deeper insecurities. The pressure to maintain a certain appearance can lead to stress and dissatisfaction, especially when the focus is solely on external validation.
True style begins from within. Style is an expression. When you prioritize feeling good—whether through self-care, mental well-being, or personal achievements—you naturally exude confidence, charisma, and a genuine, healthy dose of pride. This internal glow enhances your appearance more authentically than any outfit ever could. Feeling good sets the foundation for a genuine and effortless style.
With that said, here are some practical steps to embrace this new mantra:
1. Embrace Authenticity: Let go of the need for external approval. When you feel good about who you are, your style and presentation naturally aligns with your true self. Authenticity is the cornerstone of personal style. Connect with who you are and your values and beliefs.
2. Cultivate Your Inner Confidence: Work on building self-esteem through personal growth and achievements. Confidence is the best accessory you can wear, and it radiates from within. Once you’ve got that, the need for a ‘costume’ fades away.
3. Expressive Dressing: Lean into self-awareness and dress for how you feel. This approach helps you build your style and brand, reflecting your unique personality and emotions. Once you’ve mastered the art of dressing for how you feel, you can begin to take control of social and professional successes. Understanding the difference between being confident for a meeting versus being confident for a first date leads to different outcomes, each requiring different levels of style and expression.
4. Prioritize Self-Care: Invest time in activities that boost your mood and energy. Whether it’s exercise, meditation, or a hobby, feeling good starts with taking care of yourself. Spend time getting to know thyself. Who are you, and why are you on this journey?
You can read Part 2 of this story, from Issue 98 of the Gents Cafe newsletter, here.
