This story originally appeared on the Gents Cafe Newsletter. You can subscribe here.
Last month we spoke about the concept of living your life for you. This month, the regret heard often had to do with loving yourself instead of trying to get others to love you.
When was the last time you felt hurt by someone else? A friend, a lover, a family member? Think about how you valued yourself with them. We all have lost some relationships that were extremely difficult. It is easy to look at the other and call them selfish, or thoughtless. However, a harder question to ask is how you valued yourself when you were in the relationship. Maybe they valued us the same way.
Loving yourself and focusing on your needs isn’t to say that you need to be narcissistic, it isn’t to say that you need to be selfish. However, you cannot take care of others’ needs if you are tapped out. You cannot love others unless you love yourself.
Valuing yourself often comes down to setting boundaries and ensuring everyone in your life adheres to them. People (intentionally or unintentionally) will treat you as badly as you allow them to. And the more times you move boundaries for others, the less they value you.
The number one thing to remember is that the most important relationship you will ever have in this world is with yourself. No one can fill the void you create when you don’t give yourself the proper value. If you do not think of yourself as a 10, then invest in yourself to improve. If you are a 10 in your own mind, others will come to see you that way as well.
Love yourself as if your life depends on it, because it absolutely does.
Parts 1 and 2 of this story originally appeared in Issue 84 and 86 of the Gents Cafe Newsletter. You can read them here and here.
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