This story originally appeared on the Gents Cafe Newsletter. You can subscribe here.
When I turned 40 last month, someone said to me “welcome to the 4th floor” and I really loved that. You could argue entering your 40s is the most daunting decade that you’ve experienced up to this point – at 10, you’re barely conscious of it; at 20, the world is full of promise and potential; and at 30, you have a lot more wisdom yet still can be considered young. Forty, on the other hand, is quite literally mid-life, potentially (even hopefully) the apex of your lifetime. But picturing life not as a bell curve of vitality and demise but instead, an ever upward ascent to more experiences, learning, and growth (and perhaps a few more aches and pains) feels a lot more optimistic to me.
It’s with that context that got me thinking: what have these 40 years taught me in terms of experiences, learning, and growth? So, as I get accustomed to my new “floor”, here are my 40 for 40 (in no particular order):
- Always use more cloves of garlic than the recipe calls for. (And don’t use a garlic press, learn to mince it like an Italian Nonna).
- Handwrite thank you notes – for everything from impressive birthday gifts to dinner parties at a friend’s house.
- Don’t wear a Rolex Submariner through the CDMX airport.
- You’ll never be disappointed about having fresh flowers in your home.
- Find yourself a scented candle you really enjoy and splurge on it when you want your home to feel extra warm and inviting.
- Even when you’re on the fence and you really don’t want to, you’ll never regret working out.
- Know how to tie a tie (and a bowtie)
- Give people grace. You never know what they’re going through inside.
- The Filipino culture is one of the world’s most joyful and welcoming.
- Stemless wine glasses are an abomination.
- Apologize and mean it.
- Mise en place transforms cooking from a chore into a hobby
- Physical books are infinitely superior to digital books.
- One of life’s greatest joys is getting to learn about someone with a completely different background than yours.
- Michael Jordan is the greatest athlete the world has ever seen.
- If you choose to be a parent, you are doing God’s work (and the compensation is priceless)
- Learn to cook your favorite cut of steak perfectly.
- Learn to make your favorite drink (and hers, too) perfectly.
- Reading voraciously will help you learn to use words like voraciously.
- Fancy, 5-star hotels are sleepers for the best public bathrooms.
- The Porsche 911 and David’s Michelangelo are both masterpieces in sculpture.
- If I’m enjoying a martini, I always make sure I give the cocktail respect by wearing a collared shirt. (Vacation is the only exception.)
- You had me at wood-burning fireplace.
- Caring for others is part of the human pact.
- Avoid credit card debt and maximize your employer’s retirement match.
- Life will throw you gut punches and those moments suck. But time heals everything.
- Don’t forget to water your plants.
- I should call my parents more. It’s important to hear each other’s voices.
- The snap of a baseball flying into a mitt is a beautiful sound.
- Few things taste as good as an ice-cold beer after a workout
- Count Basie was right, there’s something special about April in Paris.
- These are a few of my favorite things: Miles Davis, Parmigiano Reggiano, Ralph Lauren Purple Label, a roaring fire.
- Find a good tailor.
- And a good florist.
- And a good butcher.
- Life is all about balance.
- Buffalo plaid is my favorite color.
- Buy a good-quality Dutch oven and use the hell out of it.
- I am so lucky to have people in my life who love me deeply and unflinchingly with their whole hearts.
- I feel most alive when I love deeply and unflinchingly with my whole heart.
